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08:00pm 23/07/2012
Just call me awesome.
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06:30pm 23/07/2012
Just call me awesome.
It's funny, how sometimes, the smallest things can make my eyes flood with tears. Right now, I'm just overwhelmed with emotion of how things use to be. Nick's old LT in the army is talking to me and said I should have done PT with them since I was enlisted as a reservist in the Army. My reply was - You know Nick didn't let me do anything. Then I messaged him and told him that it reminded me of that time when they were both out in the field and he told NIck he could use his phone to call me and tell me happy birthday, but he didn't want to because he said I would have expected him to call. Those were some lonely days back then. Days when I was ashamed just to be me. Everyone saw all the bad I had done but they couldn't see how I was treated behind the doors nor how I felt. I'm just glad that time has moved forward and I love myself and have someone who loves me in return.
mood: accomplishedaccomplished
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Morning workout.  
10:43am 21/03/2012
Just call me awesome.
Your Shape Fitness Evolved:
20 mins Break a Sweat
4 mins Cardio boxing gold class 2
4 mins Cardio boxing gold class 3
6 mins Zen Class ocean 2

Kettlebell cool down:
With the 35:
10 double hand swings
10 one arm swings right
10 one arm swings left

9 "
9 "
9 " to ZERO.

It was quick and brought the heat.

I did 25 crunches on the exercise ball
20 elevated push-ups
ONLY 3 one legged squats on each leg. resting on the ball of course.
mood: rejuvenatedrejuvenated
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Writer's Block: Wear This, Not That  
08:24pm 18/03/2012
Just call me awesome.
What is the most timeless article of clothing or fashion accessory?

Bracelets and bluejeans.
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Fucking hair cut  
09:16pm 17/03/2012
Just call me awesome.
OMGOSH. I was thinking I was going to take the plunge today and just get my hair cut. I made the decision and thought I'd just get some inches cut off just below my shoulders. When I asked Jacob if he thought I should just get it cut straight across, he said he thought hair looks funny when it was cut that way. SO - we skimmed the books and I found haircuts that were basically that. One length with a little bit of shaping and layers. WELL. My hair is FUGLY. NOT JUST FUGLY but fucking horrible fugly. She didn't dry it while I was there so I couldn't tell. It dried while we were in town and I have natural wave to my hair (to me it makes it nappy looking), but I got a glimpse of it in a mirror while we were out and I started not liking it then. I got home and snapped a few pictures. This is the only one that's slightly okay.

I'm so freaking angry right now. My hair was a hand length away from my butt in the back. I wanted to either get it cut or get it permed. When I sat down she was telling me how pretty my hair was. I told her that I wanted it permed and she almost talked me out of getting my hair cut - I wish she would've. I HATE HAVING UGLY HAIR! It's already bad enough that I'm extremely self conscious but now I don't have any damn hair to cover some of me up. What the hell. I have one damn layer in my hair. It looks like it was shaped into one of those skanky bob hair cuts that start short in the back and get longer in the front, and then I've just got hair underneath. PISSED. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up and have all my damn messy, tangled hair back. I didn't get it cut short enough to donate either. OH MY GOSH I"M SO MAD. I'm so mad I wish I could just storm through the house and break things. Fuckity fuck fuck. FUCK!
mood: angryangry
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Writer's Block: Ides of March  
09:41am 15/03/2012
Just call me awesome.
What are you wary about today?
School letting out early and having 5 kids running rampid through my house.
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Ooh.. Eetza snake.  
09:21am 15/03/2012
Just call me awesome.

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Pop pop pop  
09:02am 15/03/2012
Just call me awesome.
OHMYGOODNESS. YESTERDAY! I was going to take Ari and the kid I babysit on a walk. About a tenth of a mile down the road, the kids were in front of me, and I stepped right behind them over some baby snakes. Honestly, I don't think I stepped. When I get scared, I have super powers - I fly and have the ability to just levitate. So they're all coiled up and I'm freaked out. I poked them with a stick. LOL. How grown up! I brought one home so Jacob could see. Kid's dad picked him up early and I told him about our adventure. He looked at it and said.. ahh.. it's nothing but a garden snake and scooped it up. I've caught a brown garden snake before buttttttttt, I still didn't wanna hold it. Ari wanted to hold it and I told her that she could if kid's dad would help her with it. My knees were still shakey from being skerred from them earlier. We saw five. Two of them were dead but danggit, it's five and the dead ones still scared me. Walking up on snakes freaks me out. I don't mind seeing them, or holding pet snakes. Seeing them at the river in the distance is fine too but happening upon one is scary as hell. I dunno what my problem is.. I become a girl - like an annoying girly girl whenever it happens. Eh... Least to say, our walk was done early and they resigned to a nap when we got home.

I did feel great all day yesterday as I had hoped. Jake and I made a 'ok' supper that I thought was going to be kick ass. We had some lemon pepper shhhicken, black eyed peas, and hashbrown casserole. Jacob didn't stay on the game yesterday as much and I really enjoyed his company. While we were cooking supper he told me 'last night was sweet.' Awww! I made an angel food cake in my new angel food pan that is vintage looking. Jacob's favorite cake is angel food cake, and the pan was just cute and I wanted it. Win. win. LOL Sadie came in the kitchen after I took the cake out of the oven and saw the pan resting upside down on a glass bottle and said that I ruined it because I cooked a bottle in it. That girl! She's always in my koolaid. But anyways, that cake was awesome and soooo fluffy. Jake put away supper and left the cake out. I told him that I'm sorryyyy BUT.. He had to go back in the kitchen and put the cake away or else I'd eat it. There's something about a fat kid and cake. Now I'm wondering if he actually took it to work with him. Hmmmm..

About eating - I do super great eating well because I really enjoy some veggies. Since I've been actively trying to eat well, I eat egg whites in the mornings with some whole grain bread. I feel like the world is out to get me though because I cracked an egg the other day and it was bloody. OH so gross! I haven't been able to have an egg since. Things just happen that way. A month or so ago, I started eating tuna for a snack and there was a fish scale in it. Which reminds me - Jacob made a mean sandwich and I asked him to make me one just like it and he left the damn deli paper on the jalepeno cheese. THAT WAS GROSS TOO. It had a tongue depresser feel to it. I bit into it and pulled the whole paper out with my mouth. That dern husband. He didn't do it on purpose but it was pretty funny AFTER the fact. It took me a week to get over it.

We played some good MW3 last night. Jacob still doesn't think his XIM adapter has the best settings. He said last night it was set to a different game for 2 days. I played while he was at work and I thought I was doing an awesome job with it, but whatever. When he was in the shower, I took a go at survival in resistance. I got to 21 and died when an enemy helicopter came into play. I had 3 enemies left and the dang helicopter showed up. I tried getting under the bridge but apparently, I wasnt able to jump over enemies while they were on the stairs. I should've went the other way but I was in a panic. I usually panic with just the juggernaunts and was surprised I got past the 3.

Oh. I woke up one night here recently and thought we had an attack helicopter in our dang yard. The house was shaking and it was sooo loud. I followed the noise to our laundry room where our heat intake thing is and that was it. I had to wake jacob up to investigate and a mouse had gotten into the fan and made it offset - kinda like the washing machine will get off balance. It was scary. I got ragged by my neighbor friends who play MW3 with us because of that association. I didn't REALLY think an attack helicopter with juggernauts was in the yard but it just sounded that way. Hilarious. Anyways. I'm done with my spark. It's time to get my workout on. I gotta go get schweaty.
mood: determineddetermined
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Writer's Block: National Pi Day  
12:44pm 14/03/2012
Just call me awesome.
How many digits of pi have you memorized?
Just 3.14
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Yeahhhhh.. When I walk on by....  
10:58am 14/03/2012
Just call me awesome.
Kettlebell. Whoop whoop. It was the first time SINCE being sick. I did 15 minutes of 30 on/ 30 off swings, squat, planks with the 35! YEAH! The planks weren't brining the heat as usual but I was sure I was sqeezing every muscle possible in my body. That's what's up!

I did 24 minutes of Your Shape before that - Break a sweat 20 mins with a 5 min zen class.
mood: accomplishedaccomplished
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